Damn That Unicorn
by LovelyLytton
Summary: Nephrite and Jupiter go on a little midnight stroll in Elysion. Companion piece to About a Tree, so it might make sense to read that one first.


Nephrite knows that Jupiter is the best thing that could have ever happened to him. He has his arm wrapped around her shoulders as they slowly stroll over the Elysionic meadows, and he doesn't know what's more beautiful, the woman or the landscape. So yes, this may be a bit forbidden and treasonous, but that's a small matter, a teeny tiny problem on the horizon because no one is going to find out and if anyone does, he'll just have to make them shut up.  
Jupiter leans into his embrace and her eyes are wide with wonder. Damn, she's pretty.  
"It's beautiful here."  
Nephrite smiles. "I'd love to take you here during daytime, you could see the flowers-"  
Her voice is amused. "I can see the flowers now, silly, the moon is bright enough." He laughs, and the wind carries the sound over to the large tree by the pond. One day, he'll find a way to show her the flowers during daytime, let her talk to the daffodils and listen to the roses. They have the best stories in all of Elysion. As a little boy, they told him tales about princesses and their knaves, about eternal love, flying horses, cursed objects and about how everyone lived happily ever after.

He places a kiss on top of her head and feels the bliss. She's the one, there is no question about that. His thoughts stray back to the ball last week. It was a dangerous moment, they were too careless and it almost cost them everything. If Kunzite were not such an old softie at heart, he would have to put an end to the relationship then and there and instead, he allowed them to disappear together, unharmed and (more importantly) unseen by anyone else. Kunzite hasn't mentioned it since and Nephrite doesn't think he will. The silence is as much of a nod of approval as he is going to get.

In the distance, the fairies begin to sing, and while their lewd lyrics don't fit the romantic mood at all, the tune is lovely. Nephrite has always had a soft spot for the magical creatures, and, unlike his liege, is smart enough to put a small bowl of sweet milk on the ledge of his balcony every night. Fairies, like puppies, love those who feed them. Sure, they'll still pull the occasional prank on him, but that's just in their nature and Nephrite doesn't mind a good laugh, even if the joke is on him.

They amble along, relishing in being alone, free from protocol and curious eyes. The milkmaids and Jadeite will have to find something else to gossip about, Nephrite thinks, and grins.  
"You seem amused."  
He pulls her closer in lieu of an answer (having long since learned that no, Jupiter doesn't want to hear a single word about any milkmaid whatsoever) and then they're kissing under the moonlight, all thoughts of Kunzite and high treason and death penalty and milkmaids banished by the taste of her lips. He can't wait to get that stupid gown off of her, there's too much fabric and not enough skin. Smart fingers begin loosening the laces and bows that hold the dress together, his mouth never breaking from hers until -

"Look, over there! The horse on the hill!" He turns around.

"That's not a horse, that's a unicorn." That's the bad thing about Elysion: too many distractions. Nephrite decides against taking Jupiter to the lake behind the watchtower: if the unicorn can disrupt the kiss, he shudders to think of the effect the mermaids would have.

"Can I pet it?"  
She makes a move towards the hill, eager and curious, but Nephrite reaches for her hand and holds her back. He'd like to make a funny remark about how there are other things she can pet, but he still remembers his own first visit to Elysion and knows that now is not the time. The magic here is strong, the scenery beautiful and whatever they were about to do will just have to wait a while. Still, petting the unicorn is not a good idea. There are few rules Nephrite abides by, but this is one of them. "The unicorns are not to be touched by mortals."

Jupiter squeezes his hand and her childish joy is gone. He has to look away, but she is too brave a woman to suppress uncomfortable truths and even though Nephrite wishes that she would just fall silent, she's not. "Love, I am no mortal, you know that." The fairies stop singing. They always had an impeccable sense of timing. On the hill, the unicorn stands perfectly still in the moonlight, watching them with ancient and knowing eyes. All that's missing is a giant banner that reads _your love is doomed_.

Nephrite lets go of her hand. "I know what you are, Jupiter, but that doesn't mean that I don't get to wish things were different." His voice has gone dark: humour and lust and love are replaced by resentment. She doesn't recoil, but inches closer instead, once more taking his big hands into her smaller ones. "We are what we are. All of us. Let us just enjoy the moment: it's special, and there are so few of them." He snorts. "Carpe fucking diem, he?" That earns him a swift blow on his side, and his mouth falls open. His lady doesn't punch like a lady _at all_. Rubbing his arm, he gives her a hurt look, his best puppy dog eyes. Jupiter smiles. The moment is back, the mood restored. "Want me to kiss it better?"

Then the sound of laughter roles towards the hill, ripping through the night and without pausing a beat, the unicorn takes off, hooves kicking patches of grass into the air. "What was that?" Jupiter whips around. It's in moments like these that Nephrite can tell that she is no ordinary woman. There is a lightning bolt in the night sky, a phenomenon Elysion had never seen until tonight. Nephrite hopes that Helios is already asleep, otherwise the whole treason and punishment thing might become an issue after all.

The fairies, clearly not in the least intimated by the lightning, begin to sing again, lewder and louder than ever. Still sound lovely though, Nephrite thinks and his eyes roam over the area. No, nobody there. "Nephrite, someone else is here." Her big green eyes betray worry, and suddenly, he feels like the idiot Jadeite always makes him out to be. She is a stranger to this place, doesn't know that there is no bad or spiteful being in this holy land. He should have told her before taking her out on this nighttime stroll. First a fight about the whole mortality thing, and now she's scared because he forgot to tell her that this is the most peaceful place on earth. Great, that's just great. He smooths her hair back, but her expression doesn't soften. He sighs. "This isn't like the woods outside the palace, there are no wolves and no bears that could cause us harm. We're safe here."

She arches a brow and he can tell that she doesn't believe him. Stupid moon where everything foreign is a threat. Forcing himself to be patient (it wasn't her fault that she was raised to be suspicious), he goes on. "Never mind the laugh, it was probably just the dwarves. They're usually at home in a different part of Elysion, but they do wander around sometimes."

"Are dwarves like fairies?"  
This makes him grin even though she doesn't. "No, they're not. Fairies are pretty creatures, lovely to look at. They like to have a good laugh, tease people. They dance a lot. But I don't think anyone has ever seen a dwarf dance. They're a bit taciturn: good natured, but they don't tend to show it. They guard things around here, and when something is off, they alarm Helios. Also: really long beards."  
"If they're so taciturn, then why would they laugh?" He shrugs. "Kunzite is taciturn, and even he has been known to shed a smile. One doesn't have to be linked to the other."  
Still, she's not to be placated. "So if something is off, they tell Helios? Nephrite, isn't the fact that _I_ am here a bit off?"  
He's ready to wave her off, but stops mid-motion. Damn. She's right. "Actually, yeah." Nephrite's eyes roam over the hills again, with more attention this time, skimming past tree and pond, but everything has gone silent. "Let's go down to the pond, we can hide by the tree if someone happens to walk by," he says, voice lowered to a whisper. While the frown on her face makes her even prettier, he kind of wishes she would just take his word on this and smile again. "Nephrite, you said we wouldn't be disturbed here. We had plans, in case you forgot. Maybe we should just go back."  
"Believe me, I remember our plans. I remember our plans just fine." He doesn't say that their plans were fucked before the dwarves and their laughter bothered them. The reminder of her immortality and his crudeness don't make for the most romantic of moods, so he doubts that they'll make sweet love under the bloody moonlight now.

It's another fifty-one steps to the tree, and by the time they reach it, they've stopped bickering and at least resumed holding hands. It's always like this: too much feeling and too little time. He knows that were they allowed to be together, were there no laws forbidding their union, they would be perfect.

A swing has been fastened to one of the branches and despite the bad mood, it doesn't take long before Nephrite has Jupiter on his lap and they swing back and forth over grass and water. She giggles and he laughs and both feel free. Forgotten is the need for secrecy, the thought of coming down to the tree to hide from the dwarves, the fact that she's a goddess and he's what they call a barbarian. Jupiter's brown curls are all in his face and so is the wind and Nephrite likes both. No, loves. Not likes. Loves. On the swing in the night, he whispers it in her ear and Jupiter's giggles stop.

They're high over the water now, and his heart is beating so hard that surely, it must burst any minute. But Elysion is a place of wonder and magic and miracles and mischief, and he doesn't die. Instead, the swing comes loose and he finds himself, Jupiter and the silly thing dashing towards the water.

There's a huge splash, and he's under the surface, water in ears, eyes, and mouth. Pushing, kicking, and cursing, he swims upwards and when he breaks through the duckweed, the first thing he sees is Jupiter, who is laughing so hard that she almost drowns. A curious water lily has woken and is watching them, petals alert and moving. The flower is laughing at him too, he can tell.

Together they swim back towards the grass. Jupiter, just like the water lily, is still laughing, long after they lay down to dry. Holding her satin covered stomach, she only stops to mock him. "Oh, please try to be romantic more often, it's hilarious."  
"Want more romance? Easy. Here, I got you some flowers." And with that, he reaches for the duckweed that's plastered on his head and smears it all over her cleavage. Not exactly how he imagined touching her tonight, but hey, he's nothing if not opportunistic.  
"You did not just do that!" His grin is wide and his brown eyes sparkle in that way that always makes Jupiter just a little bit reckless.

Of course, a battle ensues, and it ends (quite naturally) with both of them naked and moaning under the stars. Nephrite can't get enough of her: he wants to do this forever. The way Jupiter twists her hip might make that a bit difficult though.

In the crown of the tree, Jadeite and Zoisite are perched on a thick branch. Zoisite is staring at the sky, quite pointedly. The last time he looked down, Nephrite and Jupiter were just switching positions and thanks to that, he has now seen way more of Nephrite than he ever wanted to. Jadeite is equally aghast, and actually covering his ears too. Zoisite throws his partner-in-crime a thoroughly filthy look and motions for him to take his hands off his ears. Jadeite complies and is greeted by loud moans. "Thanks for cutting the swing, you idiot," Zoisite whispers with menace. Jadeite lifts his hands in defense. "I thought it would make them go away. How was I supposed to know that stinky, smelly duckweed is their secret kink? Plus, it was you who laughed so loud that the stupid unicorn ran away!" Zoisite rolls his eyes. "Oh yes, and you kept a perfectly straight face when he wanted to put his moves on her and she was all 'oh look, can I pet the pony'." Underneath the branches, Nephrite groans. So does Jadeite, but the sound differs in more than just volume. "This is never going to end, is it?" Zoisite closes his eyes and looks pained. "No, I'm afraid not. Damn that unicorn."

 **The End**


End file.
